Why Fight?

Why is everyone so angry? I've given this a lot of thought and have tried to stand back from the current situation and take a look at what's really going on. It seems everyone I know gets into arguments with their X's on some of the silliest bullshit. How is it we fight more after the separation than before? I remember one time the feelings became so heated that the cops showed up. I made a getaway in my Vocho back to the safety of my lounge and found myself catatonic! I reached a point where I couldn't utter one syllable and my legs couldn't hold me with the ton of bricks I had on my shoulders. I fell to the ground, speechless and weak. What a trip. I was transported into another state of being.
So why didn't these intense "fights" take place inside the marriage? We did have a few but never quite like this. Why the emotions after the break up? Shouldn't we feel free? I was thinking about how the relationship was when we were married and how we fought inside the marriage. I noticed something that I think makes all the difference. We don't have to crawl into bed with each other anymore! This is the change that allows us to stop biting our tongue. No more chains to hold us back. There are no worries about keeping the peace since we go off to our separate homes. We are liberated. We can say what we have been holding back for years! I'm not sure if this also means that to truly be free of the relationship then one must go through this madness of fighting. If you found yourself editing inside the marriage and then continue editing outside the marriage to keep the peace then nothing has really changed. You might still be bound by the chains of the marriage never freeing yourself. Of course once this process is complete you can move on even farther down your road.
Fighting is liberating. Telling the other person off does make one feel free. The key here is to recognize it and move on.

Love compatibility. Maximum Capacity.

I was having a conversation last night with a good friend who is also recently separated. While drinking some Cabernet and cooking risotto we came up with a theory, "Love Compatibility". Love is two parts, the degree of love you can give and the degree of love you’re open to receive. In a relationship it may seem that a partner isn't giving love to the other but in the eyes of the giver maybe they love at their maximum capacity. If a beneficiary of love has a maximum capacity below what the giver is giving to that person then that person may seem to be rejecting the love. In the reality of the receiver they may feel smothered of "bothered". The giver of love may say things like," If you would just let me love you". The giver has so much more to express but most of it just bounces off because the receiver is overloaded with love. Here in lies a problem. The one who has a lower "love capacity" can go through the relationship being completely satisfied. They give all the love they have to give and get full of love from their partner. Of course there are variations on this. I guess the worst love match would be someone who cans receive and needs tons of love but has a super low capacity for giving.
So it stand to reason that if two people have low giving and receiving capacities then they would make a perfect match for each other. If a couple both have high giving and receiving capacities for love then the relationship is "Love Compatible" and might work.