TREAT YOURSELF LIKE YOUR LOVER

There became a point in my process that the focus changed from other people to me.
All of the sudden everything changed from being consumed about taking care of the kids or thinking about the next hookup to focusing on myself. It's like someone yelled out from the crowd,"look there's a man standing over there who needs someone to take care of him." The difference is the same man that asked for help is the one who gave it. Leaning on myself. Supporting myself. Thinking about myself first.

Taking care of myself the way I would want to take care of my partner. Here's a few ways to break it down always remembering what would I do for my lover or what things would I want for my lover.

Diet, food and dining.
Since I've been alone I haven't sat down to eat nearly as often as when with a partner or the kids. A couple of single friends of mine told me something about thier eating habits. They always prepare a nice dinner for themselves. They set the table, cook a good meal for themselves and sit down with a decent wine to enjoy a meal. One would cook a fantastic dinner for someone they really cared about. Do it for the person you care about most.

Exercise and fitness.

It goes without saying the benefits of exercise. Physicall activity improves your mood, relieves the stresses of the seperation or divorce and prevents depression. Exercise promotes better sleep. A good night's sleep can improve your concentration, productivity and mood. And you guessed it — physical activity is sometimes the key to better sleep. Regular physical activity can help you fall asleep faster and deepen your sleep. Keep your body in shape. You want a partner who does that so do it foryourself.

New Music

Music is commonly utilized in medical therapy to promote wellness, manage stress, alleviate pain, express feelings, enhance memory, improve communication, and promote physical rehabilitation. Diging up new tunes and sharing them with friends is how you can keep your mind fresh. Instead of turning on your partner to new music turn yourself on. Music also creates memories and eras in ones life that can help them move on from situations. Listening to the same old tunes can get your head stuck in the same old mental state while new music can promote growth.

Well decorated comfortable home.
Make your house somewhere you deserve to call home. I'm sure you would bring fresh flowers home for your partner so do it for yourself. Plants, art and good lighting are essintial factors in a home. Fresh paint on the walls and some good art will always change your attitude about yourself. Creating a comfortable spa like bath will give you a place to decompress. Just think of the home you would want for your lover and do it for you.

Good clothing.

It doesn't need to be expensive but it needs to have a style. Keep it fresh. Think about the things you would want for your partner. The new clothing or jewlery you would buy as a gift for them now start buying it for yourself. Chances are you would spend more on someone else than on yourself. Start spending it on yourself.

Learning something new.

Take a life drawing class. Learn a new language. Study astology. Constantly be giving yourself new information. New ideas and get addicted to exploring new things. Feed yourself with information and imporve you knowledge and skills. You would want the same for your partner now do it for yourself.

New Friends

Invite new people into your life. Be selective about this process. Surround yourself with people who are creative, positive, supportive and smart. You deserve to have the best friends possible. Don't settle for less than that. Remember you wouldn't want your partner hanging out with losers. Don't let yourself hang out with losers.

Lean on yourself. Have your back. Lift yourself up. Be good company for yourself. Take care of yourself better than anyone else would.

Be your own lover.

Something in the beer?

Some say couples come to San Miguel to break up. Others say they were hoping San Miguel was the change they needed to focus on thier marriage. For whatever the reason San Miguel is no different than any other place in the world. People split up. My soon to be X says that matrimony is an ancient concept designed for survival of the species. If this is true than we in San Miguel have evolved. What is it about being married that makes you stick around in an abusive or sad situation and put your happieness in a box. This is insanity. Culture has taught us that divorce is bad. To be successful you must make sacrifices and without sacrifices you will never know commitment. Fuck that! Why would someone sacrifice thier personal well being to be " successful". Isn't real success just as simple as just being happy? For whatever reason one ties the knot or cuts loose from it. It is a trip to make the life transition. As another one of my soon to be X friend says, " You can do or be ANYTHING, the world is open to you now." Good advise but where do you start? How do you see yourself now when not defined by your circumstances and your old partner?